Any request for funds
Money, gift card codes, cryptocurrency, or your bank, card, or account details — from someone you have not met in person. There is no version of this that is safe.
Romance scams
Nobody who actually cares about you needs your money today.
A romance scam is a confidence crime. Someone builds a relationship, often patiently and over weeks, and then engineers an emergency that only money can solve. It works on careful people, and being taken in says nothing about your intelligence.
If you have already sent money, act now rather than later. Contact your bank or the payment service immediately and ask about a recall or reversal, then report it. Some transfers can be stopped within a short window. Do not wait until you are certain — ask while it is still in doubt.
The pattern
Almost every romance scam runs the same five steps.
- Contact, then intensity. Affection arrives faster and stronger than the relationship has earned. Some people are simply effusive; the difference is that a scammer escalates on a schedule rather than in response to you.
- A reason never to meet or appear live. Work on an oil rig, a military deployment, a contract overseas, a broken camera. There is always a story, and the story always survives the next question.
- A move off the platform, early. They ask to continue on a private messaging app quickly. That removes the conversation from anywhere it could be reported or reviewed.
- A crisis with a deadline. A hospital bill, a customs fee, a frozen account, a chance to get home to you. Urgency exists to stop you from checking.
- An untraceable payment. Gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, payment apps, or a request to receive and forward money for them. These are chosen because they cannot be reversed.
Warning signs
Any one of these is worth slowing down for.
Asked to receive or forward money
Accepting a transfer and passing it on can make you a money mule. That is a crime you can be prosecuted for even when you were deceived.
Never live, never in person
Video calls are always cancelled, or the camera never works. Photos look professional or inconsistent. A reverse image search of their pictures is free and takes a minute.
A can't-miss opportunity
A trading platform, a crypto tip, an app only they can get you into. Small withdrawals often work at first, which is the point — it buys a larger deposit.
Secrecy and isolation
You are asked to keep the relationship private, or told that friends and family will not understand. Isolation is what makes the ask work.
Intimate images requested
Images can be used for extortion. If this happens, do not pay — payment reliably leads to further demands. Report it.
If it is happening to you
Stop, save, report.
- Stop sending money and stop contact. You do not owe an explanation or a goodbye. Ending the conversation is not rude and it is not a decision you need to justify.
- Save everything before you block. Screenshots, profile links, account names, payment receipts, wallet addresses. Blocking first can cost you evidence you will want.
- Tell your bank or payment provider. Ask specifically about recall, reversal, or chargeback, and say that you believe you were defrauded.
- Report it inside SHY. Use Report on the profile or conversation. We can only review what is brought to us.
- Report it to the authorities. In the US: the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI's IC3 at ic3.gov. For a crime in progress or immediate danger, contact local emergency services first.
- Talk to someone you trust. Scammers rely on shame to keep you quiet. Telling one person is usually what breaks the spell.
Recovery scams follow romance scams. If someone contacts you promising to retrieve your money for a fee, that is a second fraud targeting the same list. Legitimate authorities do not charge you to recover funds.
Something happened on SHY
Tell the safety team.
Share the account details or context you have, without putting yourself at risk. You can report whether or not you sent money, and whether or not you are certain.